Aug 04, 2014 9:58AM

Deconstructing The Lyrics To Beyonce x Nicki Minaj's 'Flawless' Remix

"If you ain't on the team, you plain' for team D."
By now you're aware that Beyonce dropped a remix to her track 'Flawless' and that it features Nicki Minaj. Referring to that elevator incident, spitting some excellent/empowering lines and compelling listeners to say "YASS!" and "SLLAAYYY!" repeatedly — the song an all-around good time. We give it 10/10. Considering the New York Post and other outlets are reporting that Bey and Jay Z (along with Live Nation, HBO and four lawyers) have held an emergency meeting to discuss the couple's doomed marriage, the track couldn't have come out at a more interesting time. Coincidence or Illuminati conspiracy? You be the judge. All we know is we'll be telling our grandchildren about this day.

While everyone is focussing heavily on the lines in the 'Flawless' remix that 'address' Solange's ass-kicking escapades, read the lyrics and you realise it's the most vague reference ever i.e. "We escalating up in this bitch like elevators ... of course sometime shit goes down when it's a billion dollars on an elevator." Cool girl, that explains nothing. Although we appreciate it regardless. What else can we learn from the song lyrics? Let's find out. FYI these are the song's official lyrics as listed on Rap Genius — which is never wrong.
[Verse 1: Beyoncé]
It stay Yoncé, oh Yoncé in that lingerie [I'm hot]
On that chardonnay, it's gonna touch down like a runway 
I'm Texas forever like Bombay, and I'm redboned yo [I'm well travelled and tour a lot.]
I been [?] like John Jay, I'm camo in here yo [I'm an invisible patriot]
These thots can't clock me nowadays [promiscuous girls can't even look at me]
You wish I was your pound cake [you want to have sex with me]
Boy you know I look good as fuck
You wish I was your babymomma [Stop hitting on me via Instagram, Drake
And we could go around and get some good karma, but no
We escalate, up in this bitch like elevators 
Of course sometimes shit go down [I have to address this some time, may as well be now]
When it's a billion dollars on an elevator 
Of course sometimes shit go down
When it's a billion dollars on an elevator
(Ha, ha, God damn, God damn, God damn)

[Bridge 1: Beyoncé]
Momma taught me good home training [I still abide by normative gender roles]
My Daddy taught me how to love my haters [Even him]
My sister taught me I should speak my mind [She was right to hit Jay]
My man made me feel so God damn fine (I'm flawless!) [He's okay]
[Hook: Beyoncé]
You wake up, flawless
Post up, flawless
Ridin' round in it, flawless
Flossin' on that, flawless
This diamond, flawless
My diamond, flawless
This rock, flawless
My Roc, flawless
I woke up like this, I woke up like this
We flawless, ladies tell 'em
I woke up like this, I woke up like this
We flawless, ladies tell 'em
Say "I look so good tonight"
God damn, God damn
Say "I look so good tonight"
God damn, God damn, God damn [I'm so flawless in every way; it amazes me]
[Bridge 2: Beyoncé]
I wake up looking this good
And I wouldn't change it if I could
(If I could, if I, if I, could)
And you can say what you want
I’m the shit (what you want I'm the shit)
I'm the shit, I'm the shit, I'm the shit
I want everyone to feel like this, tonight
God damn, God damn, God damn [I want everyone listening to this to feel flawless too! I'm a saint]
[Interlude: Outkast 'Spottieottie Dopaliscious' sample]
[Verse 2: Nicki Minaj (Beyonce)]
Looking Trinidadian, Japanese and Indian
Got Malaysian, got that yaki, that wavy Brazilian [I embrace multiculturalism]
(Them bitches thirsty, I'm Hungarian
Nicki, Bey, be eatin' diamond fangs, barbarian, ah)
Yo, like MJ doctor, they killing me [I miss Michael Jackson]
Propofol, I know they hope I fall
But tell 'em winning is my motherfuckin' protocol
'Cause I score before I ever throw the ball [So good at sport, I don't even play it]
These bitches washed up and ain't no fuckin' soap involved, uh
This every hood n*gga dream, fantasising about Nicki and Bey 
Curved valicious, pussy served delicious [Our vaginas are appealing]
Mayday mayday, earth to bitches
Slap these hoes on they ass like we birthing bitches, uh
The queen of rap, slayin with queen Bey
If you ain’t on the team, you playin' for team D [If you don't support the sisterhood, you're simply a penis lover]
'Cause we A-listers, we paid sisters
This watch right here done faced blizzards
I confess, I woke up like this
All this drank in my cup like this [No tea, no shade]
All this ass on that flawless dick
Instagram another flawless pic [I take a lot of selfies]
Flawless city with these flawless titties [My breasts are off the chain]
I got all these hundreds, you got all them fifties
I'm with some flawless bitches because they be mobbin' pretty
'Cause they just love bad bitches that be on they grizzly
Throw that ass back I be on my frisbee [I'm getting a bit surreal now]
Princess cut diamonds on my Disney [It's just what I do. If you're not following, your loss]
He want monster Nicki in Sri Lanka
I told 'em meet me at the trump, Ivanka
I said come here let me show you how this cookie tastes
This that year, n*gga eat the cookie face
(Roc, Roc, Roc)