Feb 26, 2015 1:12PM

The Declassified Songs That The CIA Used For Torture

Hi kids! Do you like violence?

The internet has stumbled across a list of previously classified torture songs used by the CIA, and it's a pretty weird mix. Disclosed in the recently released CIA Torture Report, the list include bangers by Xtina and Eminem, and yet no songs by Nickelback — a smart Reddit user has explained that glaring omission with, "The use of Nickelback in war (or anywhere, actually) is classified as a war crime by the UN."

Here's the list along with some wise words from the outspoken ppl of the internet.

Prince — 'Raspberry Beret'
Reddit insight: Yeah even if the waterboarding broke me I'd probably still hold out just to get them to keep playing Raspberry Beret, that song's catchy as hell. — OK_Soda
The award for actual good song used for torture goes to Prince.

Christina Aguilera — 'Dirrty'
Reddit insight: I forgot how Christina Aguilera used to be the female Captain Jack Sparrow of the late 90s. — daedalus1982
Some people still love to throw elbows to this song and fondly remember the time they bought the Stripped sheet music and took it to their conservative piano teacher (who stuck a piece of paper over the racy front cover).

Drowning Pool — 'Bodies'
Reddit insight: Prisoners left the interregation room with a deep understanding of early 2000 YouTube montages. — Arriba_amoeba
Drowning Pool are clearly psychic, performing their own torture session in the video clip, which would be so confusing/perfect for the CIA's tortureception.

David Gray — 'Babylon'
Reddit insight: David Gray, seriously? I love that song and I think I performed CIA torture on myself by listening to it repeatedly when it came out. — Mskaboom
Sweet, inoffensive David Gray is sighing in disbelief RN.

Matchbox Twenty — 'Cold'
*Shudder*

Theme to Sesame Street
We are slowly filling with rage as this plays.

Neil Diamond — 'America' 
This torture jam is loaded with patriotism that would make anyone feel guilty really annoyed. Also, Neil shines bright like a diamond in this video.
Metallica — 'Enter Sandman'
Reddit insight: I used to put that album on with headphones and fall asleep to it. — 
_josepi_
Really, dude? Did you sleep with one eye open?

The Bee Gees — 'Saturday Night Fever'
What did the falsetto groovers ever do to you, CIA?


Eminem — 'Real Slim Shady'
Reddit Insight: I listened to this song and only this pretty much from 14 till I was 16/17. I CAN SURVIVE CIA TORTURE!! — 
IrishPatriot20 
Same.

Lucy Jones